Clouds

Why do I connect with clouds?

I have been thinking about this a lot. In the past few days, I spent many evenings on the terrace of our home in Raipur, lying down and gazing at the clouds above. This is something I love doing. Raghav and I always have fun, looking at cloud shapes and making some sense of them. We do this often, even when travelling by train or car.

Often when I am on the mat and looking at clouds, Raghav breaks my thoughts. I distribute my thinking time between him and the clouds. Finally when Raghav has had his time and he leaves me alone to be with the clouds for some time, my thoughts are trained solely on the clouds. It is hard to keep William Wordsworth’s poem Daffodils from drifting into the mind:

I wander’d lonely as a cloud

That floats on hig o’er vales and hills….

Being a nature lover, it is one of my favourites and I connect with the daffodils too, as if I am the cloud and I have the bliss and pleasure of watching the whole array of daffodils beneath.

Yet, the changing cloud shapes makes me think about change and impermanence. Just as clouds change shapes, our mind too has numerous thoughts that keep changing and we often end up having new thoughts ever so often. So is my mind like the cloud? Can I train my mind to stay in my control? Will the thoughts be like the Cirrus clouds moving high above – slowly, but still changing every second?

Another thought crosses my mind: the shape of the cloud is never the same; it’s always and ever changing. This thought so much connects with the Theory of Impermanence, which I truly believe in. Having gone through other theories, I found my calling in the Theory of Impermanence, which tells us about the fact told by the Buddha that nothing is fixed, nothing is unchangeable, nothing is permanent, but everything is changeable. This is the fundamental truth that life is always moving, flowing and changing.

And now I need to focus my thoughts on Raghav as he is calling me. I shall leave the clouds to wander. My life is always moving, flowing, changing especially with Raghav around. Just like the clouds above the terrace of my home.

Soul Cleaning

Is it really so difficult to know ourselves? Each time I sit down to articulate my thoughts, I start with a question. Guess it’s so because I’m a seeker and a learner. The quest for answers for everything makes me start asking questions. The things we do, the relations we have, the way we behave in life, all leads to one thing - getting to know about ourselves – for the better.

From the time I came across the phrase Know Thyself, I have been pondering about it and getting closer to the conclusion that knowing myself leads me to the biggest question of my life – who am I?

A mother of an active five-and-a-half-year-old lad, my life revolves around my son Raghav. I enjoy doing household chores and particularly enjoy washing clothes and hanging them out on the clothesline on our terrace. And as I dry the clothes, I ask myself if we can do the same with our souls. We wash our soiled clothes to be used again. Can we do the same with our souls? I keep thinking about this every time I am hanging clothes to dry.

Different people, different souls, clean clothes but the souls get soiled, dirty with so many negative things around. Can we clean these just like our clothes and have new, fresh souls to use again?

I take the clothes off the clothesline, crisp and smelling good after a spell in the sun. They feel so fresh every time and I also see my soul getting cleansed of whatever negative emotions I have had. I feel fresh and free.

My soul-cleansing is done!

At least for the day.